05/09/2017

And now for something completely different: LIVE ACTION ARCHER

QuickImage Category Fun Movies

There is a "Fantasy Casting the Live Action Archer Movie" link making the rounds on Facebook right now. I won't link to it because it is filled with spam link clickbait horseshit. If you want to find it I'm sure you are capable of doing so.

However, with the exception of a few notable disagreements (detailed below), I think it is pretty much spot on and would love to see it made.

My Casting Changes
krieger.jpg
Dr. Algernop Krieger: Michael Fassbender A character as comically insane as Krieger requires some serious dramatic acting chops. Brett Gelman is good, but I really think Fassbender would own this role.
pampoovey.png
Pam Poovey: Rebel Wilson Yes, I get that Melissa McCarthy would be able to pull off this role. But you also have to think in terms of the cast as a whole. How well would McCarthy as Pam fit in with the rest of the cast? Don't misunderstand me, I think McCarthy is friggen hilarious. But as Pam Poovey with the rest of the cast, I think Rebel Wilson would be better. And very, very funny.
barrydylan.jpg
Barry Dylan: Christian Slater Christian Slater is great as himself. But I really think he would be better as Barry.
slater.png
Slater: Ryan Reynolds Other than Christian Slater who else could possibly play Slater? Ryan Reynolds is the obvious choice here.
raygillette.png
Ray Gilette: Michael Cera Yes, I'm serious. Ray's whiny bitchy angry character is so far outside of anything that Cera has ever done that this would be one hell of a stretch. But I suspect Cera would be able to pull it off (phrasing!) splendidly.
cheryltunt.png
Cheryl Tunt: I wouldn't say no to Krysten Ritter, she could definitely handle the character, but my first choices would be (in order) Laura Spencer, Carla Gallo, or Zooey Deschanel.
woodhouse.jpg
Woodhouse: I had not considered Bill Murray. He would be great in the role. Either him or John Cleese.
sterlingarcher.jpg
Sterling Archer: Zac Efron. You need somebody in great shape and believable in action sequences / fights. You need somebody who is good looking, intelligent, and really funny. You need somebody who can be simultaneously gallant and charming while performing amazing acts of douchebaggery. You need somebody who makes ladies' legs go weak. You need amazing blue eyes. And since I can't cast myself (I'm too old and fat), I give you Zac Efron. He has all of this in spades.

Ok, who are your choices, and why? (No, it isn't likely to happen. This is just some fun Hollywood Casting)

12/24/2011

Preparing for Lotusphere 2012

Category Lotusphere Fun Beer

My sessions were not approved

So while those of you who did get your sessions approved have been stressing out about your slides and presentations, I've been making my own special preparations for Lotusphere 2012.

See you there!

-Devin

09/17/2011

Dan Wesson Commander Classic Bobtail - Best Pistol EVER

QuickImage Category Fun Guns Reviews

I finally managed to get to the range today to start breaking in my CBOB (recently purchased unfired 2009).

I have a family membership at Kent County Conservation League; my daughter and I spent most of the day there. I'm using Remington UMC 230 gr ball ammo for the break-in. I only managed to get through 100 rounds before Ryley dragged me over to the five-stand sporting clays course. (Shooting with my girl takes precedence -especially when we are both learning a new sport). I'll have to finish the full break in of my CBOB at a later time.

Anyway, I used both of my stock magazines and one extra Chip McCormick 8 round magazine. I had pre-cleaned and properly lubed the pistol earlier in the week.

There was a fellow with his kids using the 7 yard targets (nice guy), so I set up targets at 20 and 30 yards. I slowly fired the first three magazines at 20 yards, using a Weaver stance. What can I say other than "Wow!". My group was centered about 1 1/2" high, and about 1" to the left of the bullseye, with all 24 rounds fitting into a baseball sized pattern.

I fired the next three magazines at the 30 yard target, using the same stance. The gun is more accurate than I am. My pattern was a horizontal oval about 5 inches above the bulls eye, and was roughly 1 1/2" high by 8" across.

I switched back to the 20 yard target for the last 4 magazines. I did one magazine with my right hand only, aiming sideways with my left hand held behind my back. All 8 rounds held within a 2" circle just above and to the right of dead center. I switched back to a Weaver stance for the last three magazines, but this time I fired all 24 rounds as fast as I could (while still maintaining a sight picture and proper weapon control). My pattern opened up quite a bit, but was still pretty good (all hits within the big ring on my target -an 8" circle).

Anyway, the gun worked perfectly, not a single FTF, stovepipe, misfire or jam of any sort. The action is as sooth as butter. To be honest, I have never fired any pistol ever that is as nice as this. I absolutely LOVE my Dan Wesson 1911.

One comment about the UCP ammo though. This is some dirty stuff. After only 100 rounds my pistol was filthy. The muzzle and about the first inch or so of the slide was coated with sticky blackish grey powder residue. YUCK! Next time I'll keep a Rem-Oil Wipe handy to wipe the gunk off between rounds.

-Devin.

06/09/2011

Slow Motion

Category Fun Beer

Slow Motion! Men in Slow Motion! At normal speed Men look really ugly! Men look much better in Slow Motion! It makes me want to sing quite loud now now! I want a Carlton Draught, Chips and Lasagna. Who wants my salad? I think I need to take a break and have a lie down. Where is my choir?

(choir sings)

Is this ad still going? When will it end? I still keep singing because I love slow mo, slow mo, SLOW MOTION! blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah
SLOW MOTION!!!

(thanks Volker)

06/04/2011

New World Record: Grand Rapids LipDub in One Single Continuous Shot

Category Fun News and Events

This is where I live

(Whom do you admire most?)

Grand Rapids was recently called a "dying" city by some publication -which seemed to both piss off and energize the population here. I believe this video is (at least partially) an emotional response by the entire city to that misleading label.

I totally dig this video. It was done in one single, continuous shot -no editing tricks or anything. Don't miss out on some of the crazy stuff going on in the background. Also be on the lookout for some fairly well known musicians, entertainers, preachers, and politicians. And be sure to take note of the football team (4:43) and marching band (5:14) -my son (and Rob Bliss, the director of the video) went there, as will my daughter.

Enjoy

04/20/2011

Waiting for June 11th

Category Fun Gaming

12 years of waiting is nearly over

03/14/2011

Beer and Politics

Category Beer Fun
Maximizing My Carbon Footprint

A history on the evolution of society

(I cannot claim credit for this post. It has been blatantly stolen from The Truffle Shuffle Weakly
Also, this is a joke, please treat it as such and don't go spouting it as the "Gospel according to Spanky".)
-Devin

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and eating the food, drinking the beer, and complaining about their fair share. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

01/28/2011

Coach Outlet now blocked

QuickImage Category Comment Spam Fun Technical

Hmmm. looks like some asshole has been busy comment spamming my site, and a few other yellow bleeders as well.

IP Address: 59.58.152.103

01/28/2011

Packing for Lotusphere - Are you ready?

Category LS 2011 Fun Beer 
Spanky's Lotusphere Brews 2011

Ed was packing for Lotusphere the other day and asked about what people might sometimes forget. Well kiddies, you don't have to worry your pretty little heads, I haven't forgotten you.

I'm bringing along something special. See you there!

-Devin

01/10/2011

Lotus Notes 8.5.2 Slow to Start

Category Fun Lotus Gossip

The esteemed Mr. Mooney posted about rebuilding his Macbook, and mentioned that Lotus Notes took 13.4 seconds to load. I just had to respond with this video.

Yes, I'm playing assholio, but it is all meant in fun.

Yes, the startup time for Lotus Notes is real. No, nothing was preloaded. Yes, it is version 8.5.2 Standard-the normal Gold release, no BP only "tuned release here. It is running on Windows 7 64bit. Nothing fake, no trickery or sleight of hand at all.

The reason for the speed is simply due to using high end equipment. Specifically: a Dell M6400 Precision Workstation (laptop) with an Intel QX9300 Quad Core processor, 16 Gig of RAM, and dual drives -1 7200RPM 320G Hitachi for data / backups / VM images / etc, and 1 120G OCZ SSD for O/S and heavily used (like Notes) applications.

-Devin

01/06/2011

Spanky's Bottle Caps have arrived.

QuickImage Category Beer Fun

Boy howdy! Ain't they purdy!

The timing couln't have been more perfect. Both the Cu Chulainn and the Forbidden Fruit finished secondary fermentation just this morning; so I'll be bottling tonight.

Oh happy day!

12/28/2010

Merry Christmas to Spanky

QuickImage Category Fun

The nice lady from UPS just delivered my package from Dell containing 4 of these little puppies. When combined with my Quad Core Extreme QX9300 processor and my 280MB/sec read / 270MB/sec write SSD, they will make my M6400 a serious development monster.

I think I'll name it "Edgar"

-Devin

12/16/2010

Blast From the Past

Category Fun
Foundations of Lotus Notes 4.0 Application Development

I ran across an old copy of Foundations of Lotus Notes 4.0 Application Development today.

Boy does this bring back good memories of times before the darkness set in.

While I truly applaud Ben's efforts, the truth is I really love these old big books. I sure would like to see something like this for 8.5 (or 9).

12/03/2010

Wow. I finally made the PlanetLotus "What's Hot" list

QuickImage Category Fun

Well this is a first

Kind of wish it had been for something a bit more worthy, but heck, I'm over 40, and I don't care.

I'll take whatever I can get.

10/21/2010

What to do when you're screwed

Category Fun Technical

So I was working on a project (can't give the details) today, and ran into a weird problem with NotesDatabase.UnprocessedDocuments. Specifically with regard to processing the selected documents in a view, when said view is embedded in a page.

After figuratively banging my head against the wall trying to noggin up a solution, I remembered we recently hired some dude who supposedly knows a few things about Lotus Notes and Domino. So I gave him a ping, to see if he really did in fact have any clue.

I'm happy to say that not only did he come up with a solution (sorry, it is covered by NDA so I can't tell you what it is, but trust me -it is both elegant and workable), he did so in less time than it has taken me to type this blog entry.

Thanks Chris! Glad you're on board.

09/28/2010

Ryley's 100 yard shot

Category Personal Fun Outdoors

A little perspective on a 100 yard shot

06/21/2010

Bad Replication

QuickImage Category Fun Stupid Dialogs

"I don't give a damn 'bout my bad replication!
The world's in trouble there's no communication;
and everyone can say what they wanna say,
it never gets better anyway.
So why should I care 'bout a bad replication anyway?
Oh no, not me!"

(with apologies to Joan Jett)

02/04/2010

Dog Danger

Category Fun
Dog Danger

If you are an owner of a dog or know someone who has a dog which belongs to a 'dangerous breed' category, and if you have a child visiting your house, please take this as a warning. . .
DO NOT leave your dog unattended with any small child for any reason!

All it takes is one tiny moment for this to happen.
Thank you
The Dog

02/01/2010

Happy Working Naked Day!

QuickImage Category Fun Announcements Career

February 1st is National Working Naked Day. It is a day for millions of Home Office Professionals (HOPs) to try to improve the way they work from home by stripping away their anxieties about working from home. This doesn't apply only to those who are self employed; anybody who spends a majority of their work time in a Home Office is a HOP.

In addition to a lack of (or severely lessened) support from a corporate office; I've discovered (from personal experience) that one of the biggest issues HOPs face is a complete cutoff of "water cooler" communications. While this might seem a blessing to you corporate-types ("quit the chit-chat and get back to work"); this type of communication is an often unnoticed yet extremely critical medium of information exchange. On the surface this gossip, chit-chat, half-joking type of conversation may appear to have a low signal vs. noise ratio; but that assumption could not be further from the truth. The signal is just not obvious. It is there, hidden amid myriad layers of blathering prattle, and it is quite strong. The nuggets of information carried in these quiet hallway conversations are diamonds of truth about what is going on (both good and bad) with regard to every project, client, venture, asset, goal and employee of the company.

Don't Go Dark

For the HOP; getting to these diamonds, even in today's modern age of communication, even equipped with the best collaborative tools in the world, takes hard work, dedication, and patience. You need to ping / call / email your boss and your co-workers on a regular basis with "pointless" requests. They, being in the corporate environment, are not even aware of how cut off you may be feeling. These interruptions allow you to both gather and give this non-official, yet critical information. I'm not saying make stuff up, nor am I saying to bother them for no reason. What I am saying is that while your pings / calls / emails may not appear to have any project pertinent reason they are still valid. Don't be an ass and overdo it. Your boss trusts that you are capable of working "unsupervised", so don't abuse that trust with a continual barrage of yakety-yak. Occasionally calling up a boss or co-workers just to say "hi -what's up?" may seem like an unwarranted interruption; but it helps maintain your relationship -it reminds both your peer, and you, that you are still part of the team. Just remember what "occasionally" means.

-Devin

01/23/2010

453,831 documents

QuickImage Category Fun

Perhaps I should consider purging some old docs from this nsf, followed by a replication / compaction?

Anybody have any idea how long to expect 400,000+ deletion stubs to replicate?

-Devin

01/14/2010

Dynamic Inertia Indeed

Category Fun

Just six minutes a day

11/18/2009

@Unavailable for a few days

Category Personal Fun Outdoors
Devin's Hunting List Thumb

I'm leaving work and family behind for the next few days while I try to find and kill Bambi.

Thanks to Henry Newberry's extreme generosity, the evenings there should be very relaxing (after the guns are put away, of course).

-Devin

11/09/2009

Box of Obamas

Category Fun

Tacky is as tacky does

Chia Obamas

Look what the nice man from UPS brought me tonight. I'm still waiting on my new copy of Windows 7 Business 64 bit to show up; but this was way more cool.

What can brown do for you?

-Devin

11/02/2009

Fall Fell in Michigan

Category Personal Fun
Fall in Michigan

Last Friday as I was walking outside I was struck by the amazing beauty from my garage. The colors of autumn were gorgeous, particluly the scarlet blaze of one of my neighbor's trees. I was so impressed I grabbed my camera an took this picture.


Fall Fell

Sadly, beauty does not last, and by Saturday morning the tree was bare. All that remained from the previous day's splendor was a mass of leaves to be taken to compost.

-Devin

10/09/2009

Hope I can still get tickets

Category Spanky's Whiteboard Fun
BB King at DeVoss Hall on Sunday

Just heard about this on the news. Tanya and I (along with my sister Donna and her husband Jeff) saw him play a few years ago in Phoenix. Do I even need to bother explaining how great he is? Didn't think so.

-Devin

09/28/2009

The Day ObamaCare Died

Category Politics Fun

09/09/2009

Naughty Number Nine

Category Fun

I was considering Revolution 9, but this has long been one of my favorites




P.S. - Beatles Rock Band comes out today!

08/12/2009

Michelle Frank NOT NUDE!!

Category Fun YellowDay Lotus Technical

Just in case you missed it, Nathan posted this yesterday

Summary: Nathan demos the latest daily build of Lotus+911's eMediTouch Lotus Notes project.

Regarding the title of this post: The original graphics showed a nude patient. Shortly after the original demo video was posted, some wanker decided it contained inappropriate sexual content and flagged it. This required "over 18" acknowledgement to access the video. Which sucked, because I know people in the medical field who, because of the over 18 flag, could not access the video from work.

08/11/2009

I AM....Celebrating YellowDay

Category Lotus YellowDay Fun

In celebration of YellowDay, I dug out an old C.U.L.T. shirt. If you look real close, you'll spot some other remnants of Lotuspheres past hiding in the background.

What are you wearing today?

-Devin

08/07/2009

Egg Trick

Category Fun

Friday Silliness

07/31/2009

My First Web Poll

QuickImage Category Lotus Technical Blogs Fun

It appears the shitstorm from earlier this week has abated. Thankfully I've been so heads down, crazy-ass busy that I've avoided most of it. Although I did get a bit huffy and up on my high horse on facebook the other night. If you are still nursing some hurt feelings or pent up anger just relax a bit. Follow Obama's example and share a beer (or tequila) with the people with whom you've been fighting.

Anyway, I was having loads of fun setting up a new server earlier this morning, and thought I should share. If you look over to the right you'll see a new web poll. This is my first web poll using Blogsphere, I'm trusting Declan entirely on this one.

-Devin

07/15/2009

Freudian slip?

Category Fun Lotus

I just finished composing an email (I have auto-spellcheck enabled). When I hit send, this spell check box popped up. Good thing I wasn't sipping coffee.

-Devin

07/10/2009

Who's been playing on my whiteboard?

Category Fun

Noticed something new on my whiteboard today.

It appears that my daughter takes after me.

07/10/2009

Caption This

Category Fun
obamasarkozyg8.jpg

I'm sure some of y'all can come up with something better.

-Devin

06/12/2009

The best thing about Friday, June 12, 2009

QuickImage Category Bitching Fun Technology

Tonight's changeover from analog to digital television marks the end of an age.

This age is gone, and with it our worries of being continually harassed with a barrage of advertisements, news stories, placards, flyers, and all manner of irritants foisted upon us by an army of well-meaning idiots.

I remember many years ago when it all began with a minor news story about digital television. That moment marked the beginning of an ocean of torment pounding against the rocks of our intellect, slowly eroding our will to think for ourselves. I remember screaming vainly into the night earlier this year when I heard that our newly elected president had ordered that the date of changeover be pushed back to June. The anguish I felt when I realized I would be forced to endure another five months of torture cannot be measured.

Thankfully, it all comes to an end tonight. Never again will I, nor any other, be forced to hear yet another damnable story about how the digital changeover is coming, and what we need to do to prepare for it. Never again will I have to endure a PSA telling me how to get a coupon from the government giving me a discount on the purchase of a digital-to-analog converter. Never again will I have my soul crushed upon learning that some percentage of Americans are too fucking stupid to realize that this is the 21st century, and it is time to replace the 20 year old rabbit ear TV with something a bit more modern.

Free at last, free at last!

-Devin

05/01/2009

Well Said

QuickImage Category Politics Fun

From my inbox...

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and rake my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.' Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

04/30/2009

Tequila, Travel, and the morning Nathan bought me 12 ounces of Mexican Coke

Category Fun Travel Gossip

After four weeks on the road, I was ready to head home. Last Friday, after finishing up at my customer's site, I jumped into the rental car and began the long drive back to Canton. My flight out of ATL wasn't until Saturday, and Nathan had graciously offered his guest room to me for the evening. Sitting in the trunk of the car was a gift bottle of my favorite tequila. The drive was going to take 6 to 7 hours.

I won't boor you with the details of the drive; suffice to say that I arrived safe and sound at Nathan's. He really appreciated the gift (he knows his tequila). After relaxing and talking for a while, I was ready for bed.

Saturday morning was a beautiful day. After dropping off the rental car, we had breakfast at a tiny little hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. I had a Chorizo and egg burro, with a couple bottles of Jarritos Lime. As we were leaving I noticed they also carried MEXICAN COKE (flavored with real cane sugar). Nathan noted my excitement, and bought me a bottle.

The drive back to Nathan's house, through the curving tree lined roads of Canton, riding shotgun in his convertible Miata, with the sun shining in my face and the wind blowing in my hair, all the while sipping my Coke, is a memory worth keeping. T hanks for your hospitality Nathan, it means a lot to me.

Yes, I know the title of this post is somewhat misleading. If you have a problem with that you need to relax. Might I suggest some tequila, or perhaps some Coke?

-Devin

03/26/2009

New Math: Inside Obama's budget meeting

Category Politics Fun

03/13/2009

Happy Pi day (1 day early)

Category Fun

Tomorrow is Pi Day.

Because it falls on a Saturday this year, we're celebrating today. I realize this sounds a bit irrational, but hey, so is Pi.

Just for fun, here is a million digits of Pi.

-Devin

03/04/2009

From my Inbox

Category Fun

Hello,

I hope my e-mail find you well. I need your assistance. My name is Sgt Joey Jones, I am an American soldier with the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment in IRAQ for the United States, we have $25,000,000.00, that is in our Possession and we are ready to move it out of the country.

The Money is part of the one we seized from late Saddam Hussein, but was not declared. My colleague and I need a good partner someone we can trust to actualize this Venture, but we are moving it through Diplomatic way to your house directly. Your share is 40% while 60% is for me and my colleague.

Sincerely,
Sgt Joey Jones.

I wonder if Colonel Bills has heard of Sgt. Joey Jones?

-Devin

02/24/2009

How the Government Stimulus Package will work

Category Fun

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

-Devin

02/19/2009

Bar Band Minimum Required Playlist

QuickImage Category Fun

Ok class, here's today's assignment. Assume you and some buddies have formed a band, and are trying to get some paying gigs. All of you are fairly skilled, but none of you have any real club experience. You're going to be playing bars, night clubs, and private parties. You need a playlist, but you're not well known enough to play your own stuff. What is the minimum set (25 only) of songs you need to know in order to be successful?

Post your answers (or a link to your answers) below. Have fun!

Spanky's Minimum Required Playlist (In no particular order)

  • Ain't that a Shame - Cheap Trick
  • Whiskey in the Jar - Metallica (or any other version)
  • Smokin' in the Boy's Room - Motley Crue
  • (Girl) You Really Got Me - Kinks
  • Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
  • Soul Man - Blues Brothers
  • Boom Boom (Out go the Lights) - Pat Travers
  • Satisfaction - Rolling Stones
  • Johnny B Goode - Chuck Berry
  • Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N Roses
  • Takin' Care of Business - Bachman-Turner Overdrive
  • Whole Lotta Rosie - AC/DC
  • Keep your Hands to Yourself - Georgia Satellites
  • (I wanna) Rock and Roll All Nite - Kiss
  • Cherry Pie - Warrant
  • Girls, Girls, Girls - Motley Crue
  • Sweet Home Alabama - Lynrd Skynrd
  • (I'll Never Smoke) Weed with Willie - Toby Keith
  • It's the End of the World - R.E.M.
  • Should I Stay or Should I Go - The Clash
  • I Love Rock N' Roll - Joan Jett
  • Mony Mony - Billy Idol
  • Fight for your Right (to Party) - Beastie Boys
  • One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer - George Thorogood
  • Closing Time - Semisonic
-Devin

02/15/2009

Which action hero would you be?

Category Fun
My daughter Ryley took the quiz, and here are her results:

You scored as Laura Croft

A thrill-seeking, slightly unscrupulous, tough-as-nails archaeologist, Lara Croft travels the world in search of ancient relics perhaps better left hidden. She packs two Colt .45s and has no fear of jumping off buildings, exploring creepy tombs, or taking on evil meglomaniacs bent on world domination.

Lara Croft
63%
William Wallace
58%
Indiana Jones
54%
The Amazing Spider-Man
38%
El Zorro
38%
Batman, the Dark Knight
38%
Neo, the "One"
38%
Maximus
33%
Captain Jack Sparrow
33%
The Terminator
29%
James Bond, Agent 007
25%
Ryley Thumbnail

Truth be told, in real life Ryley doesn't pack Colt .45s. She prefers her 16" Ruger 10/22 with special stock and iron sites (with fiber optic inserts). And she is very, very good.
(I couldn't be more proud.)
Which action hero would you be?
-Devin

02/04/2009

Frantic's first live performance

Category Announcements narcissism Fun

Frantic Live -covers Nothing Else Matters

In case you're wondering, that's my son playing bass.

01/16/2009

Wheee! Is this a "viral" video?

Category LS 2009 Bleedyellow Fun

12/07/2008

When Web Services go Bad

Category Technical Fun

Some people might consider this a failure

I like to think of it as having successfully discovered the 32,768th way to not make a light bulb.

If I've piqued your interest, click the image for details. Make special note of the processor load on the bottom right, and the remaining HDD space on the bottom left.

On a (somewhat) related note: I think I am now as much a fan of VirtualBox as Bill is of iSeries. I may not fully grok all the details of virtualization, but this event was corrected by 2 mouse clicks (Machine | Reset). If this had been running on a "real" (non-virtual) box, it would have required physically cycling the power -which is a tad difficult when the machine is not in the same physical location as you are.

On another (somewhat) related note: please allow me to reiterate the importance of remembering the difference between a LotusScript Integer (a signed 2-byte integer with an inclusive range of -32,768 to 32,767), and a Java int (a signed 4-byte integer with an inclusive range of -2,147,483,648 to 2,147,483,647 ). If you're not careful, this difference can allow a WebService to sneak up and bitch-slap your server. Expecting thirty two THOUSAND and getting two BILLION does tend to muck things up.

-Devin

11/03/2008

Why I'm voting Democrat

QuickImage Category Politics Fun
  1. I want to get my health care from the same competent, efficient, cost-effective, customer-service-focused folks who run the U.S. Post Office, the Pentagon, FEMA and the Registry of Motor Vehicles.
  2. Sen. Obama has promised to cut the taxes of 95% of the people, including the 30% who don't pay taxes.
  3. I think that drilling for American oil is foolish when we can buy oil from the Middle East.
  4. Parents shouldn't get to choose the schools their kids go to. Parents should leave their children's education to the teachers and stay out of it.
  5. Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended.
  6. When we pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.
  7. I believe the oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% is perfectly fine.
  8. I believe that small businesses should not be allowed to make a profit. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution to people who didn't start businesses.
  9. I'm not concerned about restoring partial birth abortions; as long as we keep all death row murderers alive.
  10. Sen. Obama has adequate experience in the Federal Government, and "hope" is a great strategy.
  11. I'm way to irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
  12. I think this is the perfect time to raise the capital gains tax and drive investment money out of the stock market.
  13. I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
  14. I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would, and I want to spread my wealth around to those who earn less - or nothing.
  15. I miss the high unemployment, inflation and interest rates of the Jimmy Carter years.
  16. The media would call me a racist if I didn't.
-Author Unknown

Ok, the above is obviously tongue-in-cheek (or is it?). Those of you who really know me already know how I'm going to vote. That isn't the primary point of this post.

I am directing this post at those of you who are currently undecided.

Let's face it, the simple truth is that I would prefer if you voted for my candidate. However, of you've taken the time to honestly weight the issues, and seriously think about whom and what/why to vote; then I want you to vote for whomever / whatever your reasoning tells you to.

Even if you disagree with me; as long as you have given honest and reasoned thought to your candidate / issues, then please vote your conscience.

If you haven't made a decision by now, stay the hell out of the voting booth.

Seriously, the campaign has been going on for over a year now. If by now you still have not made a decision, then you have demonstrated you are incapable of rational thought or that you do not value the importance of your vote. In either case, you have abdicated your vote to those of us who give a shit. Stay home and let people who have taken the time to think about the issues; who are capable of making a decision handle this. You'll probably just bruise your brain anyway.

Leave the hard decisions to those of us who understand our responsibility as citizens. Whether we are right wing, centrist, or left wing is immaterial. The mere fact that we have taken the time to weigh the issues demonstrates that our opinions are more important than yours.

-Devin

10/31/2008

Happy Halloween

QuickImage Category Fun

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Have a scary good time tonight! Enjoy your trick or treating, stay up way too late, and eat lots of candy!

I hope the Great Pumpkin finds you happy and healthy.

Keep watch for the little ghouls, ghosts, witches and warlocks scampering about in your neighborhood; they tend to get a bit over excited this time of year, and don't always watch where they are going.

Most of all, have fun!

-Devin

10/22/2008

Three Thousand Words

Category Photos Fun

In which I leave the hunt for relationships to the conspirators

Photo: Turning Left in Reno

Last night I transferred some photographs from my cell phone to my laptop. Three of them really caught my attention; not just for the stories they tell, but for that which remains unsaid as well.



Photo: The Girl Can Shoot

I also am intrigued by their juxtaposition, not physically, but emotionally, as moments in time. Each one stands alone, but I think their non-relationships are extremely cool.



Photo: Free Speech Area

Anyway, I thought y'all might enjoy them. You can click on each of the thumbnails to see a larger version.




(And yes, the girl can shoot. I took her to the range during a "Daddy-Daughter-Day"; we had an absolute blast.)
-Devin

10/16/2008

Governmentium

Category Fun

From my inbox....

Governmentium

The Heaviest Element Known to Science

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

-Devin

09/29/2008

Under the light, nothing seems to be scary

Category Fun

09/23/2008

I am Iron Man

QuickImage Category Fun

You are

Iron Man

Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Iron Man
100%
Spider-Man
80%
Green Lantern
80%
The Flash
75%
Hulk
65%
Supergirl
60%
Wonder Woman
60%
Catwoman
60%
Superman
55%
Batman
50%
Robin
45%
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

What more can I say?

-Devin

09/15/2008

How to handle a Woman

QuickImage Category Fun

Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies what is given to her.
So - if you give her crap, you will receive more shit than any one human being can handle.

08/19/2008

What's so special about Chris Miller, and does he really use AutoSave?

QuickImage Category Fun Technical Lotus

Just doing some final prepping today, and got this question. Which was immediately followed by a case of the giggles.

I have no idea why the thought of Chris Miller using AutoSave strikes me as funny, it just does. Call my attention gone.

-Devin

08/11/2008

YellowDay for Reno 911: A poor cocktail

Category Fun YellowDay

It appears that Spanky's YellowDay festivities have gone terribly wrong

YellowDay in Reno

06/09/2008

Viva La Theatre Geeks!

QuickImage Category Fun Podcasts BleedYellow

Finally got a chance to listen to YellowCast Episode #2; wherein Chris and Tim discuss, among other things; the separation of UI and document data, a Project Broker Update, and community news. They also reveal that they were both Drama Geeks (as was I) whilst in high school. All in all a very good show.

I'm curious, how many YellowBleeders are also former (or current) Drama Geeks?

-Devin

06/09/2008

Dreaming of Horatio

Category Fun

Got this quiz from Gregg. Looks like I need to look up some big words as well.


What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Divine Command

Your life is directed by Divine Command: Your god and religion give you meaning and direction.

“Know therefore that the LORD thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations.”
--Deuteronomy 7:9

“Even as a tree has a single trunk but many branches and leaves, there is one religion--human religion--but any number of faiths.”
--Mahatma Gandhi

Divine Command
100%
Existentialism
75%
Hedonism
65%
Utilitarianism
50%
Kantianism
50%
Justice (Fairness)
50%
Strong Egoism
20%
Apathy
5%
Nihilism
0%

-Devin

05/22/2008

Best Tag Cloud Ever

QuickImage Category Fun BleedYellow News and Events

Is paying people to use your software a good thing?

Jimmy doesn't think so.

-Devin

05/21/2008

Four Religious Truths

Category Fun

During these serious times people of all faiths should remember these Four Religious truths

  • 1 - Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
  • 2 - Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
  • 3 - Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
  • 4 - Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
-Devin

04/29/2008

Wish I could get my hands on that...

Category Fun Outdoors

This pretty much speaks for itself.

04/22/2008

Yeah, that's my Notes Desktop

Category Fun Lotus
click for screenshot

Just having a little fun with the MarvelClient Skinning Edition for IBM Lotus Notes.

-Devin

04/18/2008

BleedYellow Skins for MarvelClient Skinning Edition for IBM Lotus Notes

QuickImage Category BleedYellow Lotus Fun

Florian Vogler published the MarvelClient Skinning Edition for IBM Lotus Notes the other day. I just saw it today, and thought "Self, this needs a Bleed Yellow skin!"

So went ahead and created one. While I was at it, I created several.

These are by no means "official" Bleed Yellow skins, they are just something I threw together during lunch (using MS Paint no less).

I've posted them to my downloads area.

Enjoy.

-Devin

04/18/2008

Y'all can just keep your corner office, thank you.

Category Fun Personal Career

reason #326 why I moved away from the city

How many people are lucky enough to truly love their work?
Or to have an office like this?

Sometimes I like to take a moment and thank God for my wonderful life.

-Devin

04/11/2008

Dwarf Football

QuickImage Category Fun

Does the fact that I find this absolutely hilarious mean I'm a bad person?

-Devin

03/12/2008

Innocence Lost

QuickImage Category Gossip Fun

I'm not really sure how I feel about this.

On the one hand, regardless of how I may feel about the stupidity of our current "anti-drug" laws, recreational marijuana use is illegal. On the other hand, the thought of this classy lady sparking up brightens my day.

I am curious as to why the only media coverage I've found on this was filed from Beijing.

-Devin

03/05/2008

Yellowchatting whilst working from home

QuickImage Category BleedYellow Fun Lotus

Sametime session (via BleedYellow) this morning:

Anonymous Yellow BleederGood morning, my brother!8:52:07 AM
Devin OlsonGood morning.8:52:46 AM
Anonymous Yellow BleederI'm working from home today. What a different experience this is!8:53:10 AM
Devin OlsonPretty nice eh?8:53:20 AM
Anonymous Yellow BleederI'm running support in my underwear right now... I know, TMI...8:53:46 AM
Devin OlsonI get a BUNCH more stuff done when working from home..........ARRRGGGHHH!!!! MY EYES8:54:01 AM
Anonymous Yellow BleederFunny, my wife says that too!8:54:15 AM
What makes this great is that I can be on im.bleedyellow.com also!8:54:40 AM
Devin OlsonI'm wearing my Kid Rock -t shirt (the one I"m not allowed to wear in public) and jeans.8:54:50 AM
I was chatting with Another Anonymous Yellow Bleeder a couple hours ago. I think im.bleedyellow is an AWESOME thing (and not just because I work at Lotus911).8:55:44 AM
Anonymous Yellow BleederI'll say it... I love Lotus911!8:57:07 AM

02/19/2008

Mock Winter Celebrate Beer

QuickImage Category Fun Outdoors Beer

Michigan Brewers Guild Third Annual Winter Beer Festival - February 23, 2008 - Grand Rapids, MI

It's time to mock winter! This weekend is the Michigan Brewers Guild Winter Beer Festival. What a great way to celebrate Michigan... with Michigan Beer! There will be over 25 different breweries and over 150 different varieties of Michigan crafted beer (check out the list here). There will be food and entertainment.     They even have a special $5 ticket for designated drivers.     Those that want to stay the night can get a hotel deal nearby.

The last two years were so successful that they moved it over to a bigger location. It's being held at Fifth Third Ballpark in Grand Rapids... yes, it's outside! (Bring it on!) Tickets for this go fast! I'll be there! The Lion King will be there! You should be there too! Get your tickets now!

(Blatantly stolen from Ray's site)

02/19/2008

One of Fifteen

Category LS 2008 Fun 

Here is one of my allotted fifteen (ok, it's actually 1:03).

02/12/2008

Thinking of Del Griffith

Category Fun Outdoors

"How cold do you think it is?"
How cold do you think it is?

02/11/2008

Kid Rock Sez

QuickImage Category Fun Outdoors
"98% of the drivers in the world get all scared and cry when they hit snow, sleet, and ice.
The other 2% are from Michigan, and say 'bring it on!' "

        -Kid Rock

02/06/2008

My Album Cover

Category Fun
Author: Keep your mouth shut

Picking up on the meme from Chris, here is my album cover.

How to make your own random album cover:
  • 1 - Go to Wikipedia's random article page. The first article you get is the name of your band,
  • 2 - Go to the Random Quotations page. The last four words of the last quote is the album title.
  • 3 - Go to Flickr's Interesting photo page. Third picture, no matter what it is, is your album cover.

Am I the only who noticed the improbable relationship between my randomly selected sources? Allow me to point out some of the more obvious ones:
My random article is "Author", and my random quote is from Ernest Hemmingway. I have a huge collection of beer quotes (check the sidebar); this just happens to be in my collection. My random photo is a red bicycle. One of my very favorite beers is Fat Tire Amber Ale from the New Belgium Brewing Company in Fort Collins, Colorado. This becomes significant if you know that the Fat Tire label shows a red bicycle.

-Devin

02/01/2008

Kid Rock: Rock and Roll Revival

QuickImage Category Fun

I've always enjoyed Kid Rock's music (and even his acting); but I've never seen him perform live.

Tonight I'm taking my son to see Kid Rock's show at Van Andel Arena.

We have really crappy seats, but who cares. I'll be at an honest-to-goodness rock and roll show with my son. Which should be very cool indeed.

-Devin

01/30/2008

Snow Day

QuickImage Category Fun

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 - FHPS are closed today due to inclement weather.

Well, this should make the kids pretty happy.

-Devin

01/25/2008

The hand that feeds you

QuickImage Category Fun LS 2008

Fun with Liquid Nitrogen

I'm huge fan of Alton Brown, as is my entire family. We have every episode of Good Eats on our Tivo at home, as well as several on tape. If I were a sports fan, this moment would be akin to playing catch with Dan Marino. Kudos to the Lotusphere 2008 planners for asking him to be our closing speaker. This was, without a doubt, this was the best Lotusphere ever.

-Devin

(P.S. The sorbet was excellent!)

01/17/2008

GoDaddy, Danica Patrick, Fox Sports, and Beavers

QuickImage Category Fun Gossip

"I did a lot of things for this country. I was in the military, I pay a lot of taxes, and I think I've earned the right to call a beaver a beaver."
-Bob Parsons

Read the whole story here.

I've dealt with GoDaddy in the past. Regardless of how you may feel about their advertising antics, they are one heck of a pleasure to work with.

-Devin

12/24/2007

Merry Christmas

Category Fun

I hope you all have a rockin Christmas.

(P.S. Please take the time to read Luke Chapter 2)

May God bless you all,

-Devin

08/29/2007

World's greatest hot dog?

Category Fun

Today's lunch.

Sometimes you you just have to stop and smell the mustard.

-Devin

08/11/2007

Desert Cross

QuickImage Category Fun

My very good friend Tony took this picture last week.

He told me I could use it as I wanted. I think it is worth sharing, so I'm posting it here. Enjoy. (Dial-up warning, it is 2.4Mb in size)

I thought I was over missing Phoenix. I was wrong. (Darn you Tony!)

The Arizona desert is truly a beautiful thing.

-Devin

07/26/2007

Nerd God

Category Fun

Though I'd jump on the bandwagon...

I am nerdier than 98% of all people. Are you a nerd? Click here to find out!

(via Rocky)

05/25/2007

Don't forget your towel today!

Category Fun
Via Richard...
Towel Day :: A tribute to Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

04/27/2007

Spanky the Evil Mastermind

Category Fun
Spanky the Evil Mastermind

I love it when people send me stuff. There is just something about getting a package delivered that makes my day seem a little bit brighter. Today I received a very cool gift.

If you check out my picture, you'll see I'm sporting a cool new Evil Mastermind shirt courtesy of Eric Sink from SourceGear.

Muahahahaa!

Now where did I put those plans for world domination?

-Devin

04/05/2007

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow

QuickImage Category Fun

Even though this is a Friday Fun post; I'm posting it early simply because I'm going to be too busy tommorow.

(I sure do hope that Tarantino and Rodriguez don't Eragon this.)

Enjoy the show!

-Devin

01/10/2007

5 Things

QuickImage Category Fun

Five things you may not have known about me

Well it seems I have been tagged by both Mr. Litton and Mr. Elsmore, so I guess it is my turn. (He tagged me last week, but I've been so busy I haven't been able to post).

Until now.

The problem is, I'm still insanely busy right now; which means I really don't have time to compose elaborate or detailed prose about myself. Which is something I normally love to do. So, I'm afraid I'm going to simply list off 5 things and allow you to come to your own conclusions. Here we go:

  1. I started a new job (January 2nd) here in Grand Rapids. I'm doing Notes / Domino development (whee!) there, and so far I am really digging it. The company I'm working for (which shall remain undisclosed in this medium -if you really want to know ask me at Lotusphere) is one of those rare gems that truly gets it regarding Notes. I'm still in the process of doing "brain dump" stuff to the development team I was working with before regarding the stuff (sorry, it's covered by NDA so I won't tell you even if you ask) I was working on before taking this new job. -Which is why I'm so busy.
  2. In the past I have voted for Ross Perot and Pat Buchanan, and almost voted for Ralph Nader.
  3. I have never spent more than 3 days in jail. (Figure that one out)
  4. I really love "institutional food" -my very favorite meal of all time is greasy hamburger gravy poured over lumpy mashed potatoes, with a side of green beans. Yummm.
  5. When I was first introduced to Lotus Notes (back in the R3 days) my first thought was "What kind of garbage product is this? I'm sure glad I don't have to work with it!" - feh, little did I know what was in store for me

Ok, that's it then. Sorry to hit and run, but I really have some seriously pressing things to do. If you really want some more "interesting stuff" about me, read this.

And now I tag Tony, Shark-fu, Gregg, Thomas, and Christine. Have fun!

-Devin

12/31/2006

Happy New Year!

QuickImage Category Fun

I hope you all have a wonderful, safe, & happy new year.

-Devin

12/01/2006

Snow Day

QuickImage Category Fun

Today is officially a snow day. (BTW: I wouldn't recommend this film. My initial thought after watching it was "there goes another 89 minutes of my life I'll never get back" -consider this fair warning.)

Anyway, a mixture of ice & freezing rain is currently falling from the sky, and an estimated 6" of snow is predicted. The schools are closed today. Not surprisingly, the kids don't seem too upset about it; and are already planning their activities for today.

Seeing as I work out of my home office, I don't get the luxury of a snow day. I'll be coding server side Java classes today. (Which isn't really a bad thing; I enjoy my work).

-Devin

11/02/2006

YouTube - Bohemian Rhapsody

Category Fun
YouTube: Rick Miller peforms Bohemian Rhapsody

Normally I'm not one to post links to YouTube, but for this one I'll make an exception. Mr. Miller caricatures 25 performers most entertainingly. (Safe for kids). Enjoy.

-Devin

10/31/2006

Happy Halloween

Category Fun

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Have a scary good time tonight! Enjoy your trick or treating, stay up way too late, and eat lots of candy!

I hope the Great Pumpkin finds you happy and healthy.

Keep watch for the little ghouls, ghosts, witches and warlocks scampering about in your neighborhood; they tend to get a bit over excited this time of year, and don't always watch where they are going.

Most of all, have fun!

-Devin

10/04/2006

Yay Pepto Bismol!

Category Fun

Got this from Harnessed In Slums . It may be a little old, but as Poppy Mom says: "Nothin’ but cowboys on the streetcorner, doing the diarrhea dance. My day is now complete."

I'm inclined to agree.

-Devin

09/19/2006

Avast, me hearties! TLAPD has returned!

QuickImage Category Fun

Arrrggghhh!, it be that time of year again. This be the annual Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Ahoy ye scurvy dogs! Cull away lest I release my cannon! All ye fair wenches prepare to be boarded!

-Devin

09/03/2006

Happy Birthday Paul

QuickImage Category Fun

Swing on by Paul Mooney's site and wish him a happy birthday!

-Devin

09/01/2006

Chertoff - Waters

QuickImage Category Fun

Is it just me, or is Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff really John Waters in disguise?

You be the judge.

-Devin

08/15/2006

You know you're from Arizona

Category Fun

I just got this in my email. I'm sure most of you have seen it or something like it; but I enjoyed it so much I decided to post it. Enjoy.

    You know you’re from Arizona when…

  • You've signed so many petitions to recall governors you can't remember the name of the incumbent.
  • You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
  • You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
  • You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
  • You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.
  • You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour...and it will be over 100 degrees.
  • You discover that in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.
  • You can make sun tea instantly.
  • You run your a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
  • The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.
  • You realize that "Valley Fever" isn't a disco dance.
  • Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
  • It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter.
  • You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.
  • Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse.....some fools actually try to jog.
  • You know hot air balloons can't rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.
  • No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car.
  • You see two trees fighting over a dog.
  • You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny
  • You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River
  • You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves
  • You can pronounce "Saguaro", "Tempe", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", and "Cholla"
  • You can understand the reason for a town named "Why"
  • You can fry an egg on the hood of a car IN THE MORNING!
  • You hear people say "but it's a DRY heat!" -and want to punch them in the throat.
  • You buy salsa by the gallon.
  • You know the difference between tomatoes and tomatillos.
  • You can pronounce tomatillos.
  • Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.
  • You can wear shorts and a tank top on Christmas.
  • Some 4th of July's you never see fireworks because it is too hot and dry to light them off.
  • You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
  • All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
  • You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
  • Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los."
  • You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
  • You have seen a lightning bolt fill up an entire night sky.
  • Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
  • Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
  • Most homes have more firearms than people.
  • Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"
  • People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.
  • You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.
  • If you haven't worked for Motorola or Honeywell at some time, you must be a newcomer.
  • You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.

And yes, I have worked for Honeywell.
-Devin

08/04/2006

Favorite Film Makers

QuickImage Category Fun

Ok, so who are your top ten favorite film makers*

    Mine are:
  1. Kevin Smith
  2. Quentin Tarantino
  3. Robert Rodriquez
  4. Elia Kazan
  5. Mel Gibson
  6. Tim Burton
  7. Ron Howard
  8. Sylvester Stallone (any man who denies he loves the Rocky or Rambo films is a liar)
  9. James Cameron (except for Titanic)
  10. Robert Duvall

-Devin

*a film maker being defined as a writer, director, or producer of a motion picture

07/28/2006

Sudoku

QuickImage Category Fun

Is it just me, or does Sudoku sound like a dirty word?

-Devin

03/13/2006

10 Commandments

Category Fun

Got this in my email today, and figured it was so good I had to post it. Enjoy

Ten Commandments

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

03/07/2006

Quiz: Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in?

Category Fun

Picking up on a meme from Rocky's site, I took this quiz. I'm pretty happy to best fit in with the coolest crew in the universe.

(Of course, I'm still a Darth Vader fan at heart.)

You scored as Serenity (Firefly). You like to live your own way and don't enjoy when anyone but a friend tries to tell you should do different. Now if only the Reavers would quit trying to skin you.

Serenity (Firefly)

94%

Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)

88%

Moya (Farscape)

81%

Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)

81%

Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)

75%

Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)

69%

SG-1 (Stargate)

69%

Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)

69%

Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)

56%

FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files)

50%

Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)

38%

Enterprise D (Star Trek)

38%

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics)

Which crew do you fit in to?

-Devin

02/20/2006

It is that time of year again.

Category Fun
Girl Scout Cookies

Well, the boxes have arrived and are ready to be delivered. All one hundred and fourty four of them. The gross thing about it is, I just started my diet, and I can't have any.

We've got them stacked high and low. Lemon Coolers, Thin Mints, Trefoils, Do-si-Dos, Tagalongs, and Samoas are everywhere.

Oh, sweet, delicious Girl Scout Cookie, how you tempt me so....

-Devin

01/20/2006

Best Name Ever

QuickImage Category Fun

I found out last week that my favorite TV show, Arrested Development, is going to be cancelled. RATS!.

Ron Howard is a comedic genius, and it's a darn shame that this show is getting the axe. I think one of my favorite "things" about the show is nothing more than the name of one of the characters.

Scott Baio guest starred on several episodes as a lawer. His character's name is (say this out loud): Bob Loblaw.

Genius I tell you, sheer friggin genius.

-Devin

11/12/2005

Cool Billboard

Category Fun
This just arrived in my email. Feel free to download it (please don't link to it). Thanks.

10/15/2005

Damien Katz: Who moved my Hasselhoff?

Category Fun
Go and read this now.

09/02/2005

Blogroll Links

Category Fun

I added some categories to my blogroll links. I'll probably add some more later on. Right now, if you are listed and you don't like the category you're in, or if you have a better category idea, let me know and I'll think about changing it. If I've somehow forgotten to list you, let me know and I'll think about adding you as well.

-Devin

08/30/2005

Daily Quotes enhanced

Category Fun

I finally got around to adding some navigation links (Prev and Next) to the quotes database. You can check it out at Spanky's Daily Quote. Hope you like it.

-Devin

08/07/2005

July 2005 Search Hits

QuickImage Category Fun
It has been a while since I did this, so I thought I'd post the search terms people have used recently to find my site. So, here you go (sorted alphabetically):
  • Daniel M'Mburugu (#1 hit. This was quite a story)
  • DELPHI 2005 VS VISUAL STUDIO
  • "Stan Rogers" Lotus (I consider stan a buddy of mine, and he comments here on a semi-regular basis)
  • 1972 chevrolet impala sport sedan
  • berry smoothie readi cat (I dont' want to go through that again for a long time
  • Devin
  • devin olsen (This cracks me up -considering that my name is spelled "Olson".)
  • Devin Olsen blog (Same as above)
  • hl spanky (Yes, I'm a Gordon Freeman fan)
  • keg fermenter (Ahh, somebody understands their priorities.)
  • lotusscript .getfirst
  • lotusscript delete array element
  • lotusscript large arrays
  • lotusscript vba
  • lou gosset jr (searching for this results in a piece I wrote about my friend's mom -probably not what the person was looking for)
  • resume exitpoint
  • spanky (Kind of a given)
  • spanky's camping (I like camping)
  • Spanky's Fun Place (Thanks! I think it's a fun place also!
  • spanky's rodeo school (while I like rodeo, I doubt this is what you were looking for.)
  • spanky's thumbs (?? I really don't think this is what they were looking for)
  • vb stringlist class
Anyway, that's it for today. As usual, some of it was expected, and a few were a little.....odd.

-Devin

08/06/2005

Happy Birthday Ed, You'll always be our Lotus Ranger!

QuickImage Category Fun

Today is Ed Brill's Birthday.!!

Swing on by his site and give him some lovin!

Happy Birthday Ed!

Hope to see you at Lotusphere 2006.

-Devin

07/07/2005

Wish you were here

QuickImage Category Fun

I'll be on vacation for the next couple of weeks. In addition to some much needed rest, my family is going to have a memorial for my cousin Todd. While I"m gone, you can click here for a daily beer quote. Also, if you're going to Advisor Live in Las Vegas, I hope you have a wonderful time (I'm sorry, but I won't be there this year).

See y'all on the flip side (whatever the heck that means)

-Devin

06/28/2005

Which Disney Character are you?

QuickImage Category Fun
My results...
You scored as The Beast. Your alter ego is The Beast!
But that is only a name... you are kind hearted and sweet, people just misunderstand you.
Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?

06/19/2005

Happy Father's Day

Category Fun
To all of you Fathers out there who are Dads, Good Job!. If you don't know the difference between a father and a Dad, perhaps you should spend a little more time with your kids. If any of you really want to get me something nice for Father's day, here is my Amazon Wish List (this is the only time you will ever see it): Devin's Amazon Wish List
-Devin

06/14/2005

Google Image Fun

Category Fun
Stolen from Welfarequeen, who stole it from Poppy Mom, who stole it from Stacey, who stole it from Rachel, who stole it from Bree, who stole it from Rbelle, who stole it from Miss Zoot, who stole it from Megan, who stole it from Janey, who stole it from Lu. I have no idea who Lu stole it from.

Directions:
Go to Google and click on the "Images" link. Type in the following and post the first (or your favorite) picture the search engine finds.

  • The name of the town where you grew up
  • The name of the town where you live now
  • Your name
  • Your Grandmother's name (yeah, I know you probably had 2 (or more); just pick one)
  • Your favorite food
  • Your favorite drink
  • Your favorite song
  • Your favorite smell

My Results:

-Devin

05/13/2005

What we have here is a faliure to communicate.

Category Fun

Your Political Profile

Overall: 80% Conservative, 20% Liberal
Social Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal
Ethics: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

05/01/2005

The Lone Ranger

Category Fun

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they get their tent all set up, both men fall sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

04/22/2005

Pope Classic & New Pope

Category Fun

I'm not Catholic; never have been, never will be.  I'm a biblical Christian.

I think Pope John Paul II arrived in heaven, and was told "well done, good and faithful servent" by Christ himself. 

I don't know anything about Pope Benedict XVI (ok, I know he is is from Germany, and that he is Catholic, but that's about it).  I wish him well, and pray that God will bless him.

That being said, this is pretty darn funny.


-Devin.

04/18/2005

Dutch Union International

Category Fun

So, is this "keeping your winning information confidential"?

04/05/2005

Kevin Smith Interview

Category Fun

This just in (submitted by Brian Benz on Rocky's blog): On NPR: Kevin Smith Interviewing Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller, 2 of my favorite movie guys and one of my favorite comic guy, all in one place! Nirvana!

I have got to see this movie.

-Devin.

04/03/2005

March 2005 Search Hits

QuickImage Category Fun

Seeing as others are doing it, I figured I might as well jump into the fray. Here are the "interesting" search hits for March, 2005.

  • "1967 cadillac coupe de ville"
  • "1971 mercury cougar xr7"
  • "Devin Olsen"
  • "honda st90"
  • "Lotusphere 2005" presentation|session available"
  • "pittsburg tools"
  • "potato lake" arizona named"
  • @SetViewInfo
  • 1976 honda cb750s
  • apache2 apt-get lamp install debian sarge
  • Chevy Nova Hatchback
  • crappy analogy
  • dell dimension xps t800r
  • devin wiggum
  • "Evaluate ( {@DbLookup("Notes" :"NoCache";"
  • "free download Sams Teach Yourself PHP, MySQL and Apache in 24"
  • Harkins Theatres sucks
  • interznet and class
  • jmp104
  • LOTUSscript notesuidocument value
  • MPG toronado
  • pennywistle
  • pictrues of cars
  • pittsburg tool torque wrench
  • setviewinfo
  • sort list lotusscript
  • Spanky define
  • spankys carpet
  • spanky's place
  • spanky's thumbs
  • StrRightBack function
  • STRRightBack$
  • t-100 sucks toyota
  • "wort overboil" "too long"
Some of them I can understand, but others are just too weird.
-Devin

04/01/2005

Happy Birthday Michael

Category Fun

Today is Michael Beauchamp's birthday.  Even though we are not officially related, I have thought of him as my little brother for over just about as long as I can remember.  Michael is in all respects a "Good Man".  He is a Christian. He is married to a wonderful woman (Katie). He is a new father (Preston James Beauchamp, born in February). He is a United States Marine (GSgt). I am very proud of him

I could make a crack about this being April Fool's day, but that would be too easy (not to mention that he has heard them all).

If you happen to be at MATSG-21 PENSACOLA, give him a shout and wish him a happy birthday.


-Devin.

03/31/2005

Apologies to Eminem & Weird Al

Category Fun

If you had
one chance
to surf the web
reading blogs
day and night
until your brains turned to mush,
would you go for it?
Or would you just let it slide?

03/29/2005

Being Southern

Category Fun

I just read this at dooce. Granted, it is over 2 years old, but it still cracks me up:

"How many times do I have to go over this? When I ask if you would please get me a Coke, you're supposed to ask me what kind of Coke, because I could mean a Sprite or a Dr. Pepper, you Yankee."


that's funny right there.

03/17/2005

Star-Schmucks

Category Fun

Just got this in my email. This perfectly sums up my feelings for a certain Seattle-based chain of coffee shops. (Be warned, there is a bit of profanity).


-Devin.

03/12/2005

Inside Jack

QuickImage Category Fun

Got this from Bruce, and I think it's pretty cool.
Inside Jack 1
Inside Jack 2
Inside Jack 3


-Devin.

01/23/2005

Dirty minds at Disneyworld

Category Fun

I noticed this while walking on the Boardwalk tonight. Sometimes I manage to offend even myself.

-Devin.

01/18/2005

Mutually Exclusive

Category Fun

Rocky has had some interesting results with this, I figured I'd try it out myself.
Here are my results:

AND

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and Hitler!!?? Now how messed up is this? (Please excuse me while I go work on my latest article, titled Liberty and Oppression: Mutually Exclusive Coexistence in a Schizophrenic World.


-Devin.

01/07/2005

A few things about me that might surprise you.

Category Fun

Rocky has a great thread going over on his site. For any of you who don't read his site, here are some things that might surprise you to know about me.

  • 1) I played Rocky in the RHPS floor show while in high school. I saw it at the Sombrero theatre, and did floor show at both the Valley Art and Mann's Christown. Rocky (Oliver) is right, playing Rocky (creature) was a great way to meet girls. I did the show every Saturday night for close to a year.

  • 2) I've owned a LOT of cars. My brother has even said that I go through cars the way that most guys go through shoes.

12/08/2004

e-Cards, anyone?

Category Fun

I don't send eCards, ever.  They annoy me.  Please don't send them to me either, as I really hate getting them.  Don't get me wrong, I like the sentiment, and the fact that somebody was thinking about me, but I hate the whole "go to the site, click here, wait for the thing to load, oooh looky, a dancing turkey!!!" thing. 


That being said, if I ever DID decide I wanted to send one, it definately would NOT be one from BlueMountain.  I'm not putting their URL here for a reason.  Of course, you can probably figure it out, but I warn you not to go there.  Unless of course you like pop-ups and navigation re-directs when you try to leave the site or close your browser.  (Of course, with FireFox, that isn't really a problem).


Christine over at Infinitepink doesn't seem to like them either.


 

11/17/2004

A little late for Halloween

Category Fun

My church had a harvest festival (a safe alternative to trick-or-treating) on October 31st.

This is essentially a Halloween party, but demons, devils, vampires, etc. are asked not to come. I just got the pictures back

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